Unspoken
by theHappyness
Summary: One. Dead. Two. Drowning. Three. Hate. Four. Home. Five. Affection. Six. Regret. Seven. Kill. Eight. Spell. Nine. Memory. Ten. Waterfall. Eleven. Perfection. Twelve. Mask. Thirteen– and the word is left unspoken. One shot. Sasunarusasu


Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.

Story in two parts. One mental the other physical. Both to the same point.

* * *

He no longer knows how many days it's been.

It could have easily been ten days. Or twenty. Six years, or two centuries.

But he doesn't know.

Because behind the endless confidence, the egotistical smirks, and the simplicity by which he achieves everything, he is, unseeingly, shattering. breaking. And dying. His soul, festering from the dirtiness of his own self. But he doesn't know.

Perhaps he was already dead.

Or he was at least blind; and never saw his blood seep from the gaping hole in his chest... until it was too late.

Too late.

And then, the stream of blood became a waterfall, pouring endlessly into the great ditch below, filling it to the brim… yet, still threatening to overflow. To kill and flood. to demolish. But back then, the vicious waters had at least a dam to hold them back. A dam, that poured it's waters outwards, not in.

And it was like another waterfall, they were like brothers. Alike. Twins in another lifetime maybe.

Dying.

Dead.

Yes. That dam is now broken. Gone. Shattered too. And it leaks blood red waters with a vengeance. An unmatched hatred, but all the same. An unmatched---

But it does not matter. He doesn't need it.

And the missing word; the forgotten word collapses on his tongue, soaked to the core with the bile of his own spit.

And in that moment, the word is left unspoken.

_  
You are my everything._

Quietly, he is breaking. But no one will ever see it. The wound is inside not out. And only one person in the whole world could've noticed. But he is gone. Leaking. leaked.

Dead.

The world is silent for the ghosts of the past.

Yet, he will not be.

Silent.

He laughs like a madman. Like Einstein. Like Beethoven. Like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Oh the IRONY! How he would have KILLED to keep the boy silent. And now. Now. Now.

Now, he becomes the boy.

His own dam.

Crack.

The blood gushes forwards, unrelentingly like a pack of hungry wolves on a helpless prey.

They are opposites.

_  
We are opposites, you and I._

The wound is inside. Not out.

Mine is on the inside. Yours is on the.

The word is left unspoken.

A memory. A memory. A memory.

He prays. God answers.

A smile, warm like the spring sunshine that filters through the full green leaves of a birch tree in the afternoon, worriless, like an innocent child strolling through a park with his parents on a sunny Saturday, ice cream dripping down his tiny fingers. And, Vibrant, and god, ohgod… oh so alive…  
like… like…

The memory disperses. The prayer dies on his lips. His happiness, now dead. His sunshine, destroyed.

Drowned.

His hands are bloody too.

A waterfall is pouring down, and somewhere, in the calm of the lake below, he sees a reflection; a ghost of the past that does not let go. (Or maybe it is he that will not let it go.) A flash of sunflowers, blue skies. Cat whiskers. Sandy beaches. Licorice. Then oranges. And finally, sinister red. It  
taunts him.

_  
My wound is on the --- yours is on the---._

I hate you.

He throws a stone across the image, the phantom that haunts him nightly. And daily. In his sleep, or in waking. He does not forget what he has done.

_  
Your hands are dyed red._

_  
We are opposites you and I._

_  
Perhaps we were true brothers in another life._

He reads the bible looking, needing redemption, needing a way to set things right. And he reads. He read. He reads.

About the seraphim. The garden of eden. The snake.

About the life of Adam and eve.

About----

_  
The words are left unspoken._

And he laughs like a madman. Raves Like a murderer. Cries Like a psychopath. Smiles Like he is breaking. dying like the fragile thing he is, behind the muscles and expressionless words. Behind his eloquence and supposed coquetry.

Where is my redemption? He wonders between crazed giggles. But the answer is already there.

_  
Dead._

_  
Dying._

_  
Dead._

How ironic.

He is bleeding still.

The water fall is killing something on the inside. Something of greater importance, that now lies forgotten on the bottom of a unfathomably deep lake, like a great civilization. Like the unicorns.

He kills. And he feels nothing. But it is just as usual. He never did feel what it was like to murder someone's father, grandfather, uncle, or brother. No. till now, he never cared who died or who bled.

Yet, now it all comes back to him in a sudden rush of deathly waters and putrid stink. It milks his blood from the inside, and tugs at forlorn heartstrings that he'd thought had been lost long, long ago.

And he cannot deny.

He is _breaking._

And it is his own fault.

The blood red smeared across his arms and legs are not his own. Nor are they the bloodied insides of another unknown victim. No. this blood. This blood.

_  
Perhaps we were true brothers in another life. _

It mattered. Dearly, it clung to him like a second skin. (or perhaps it was he that clung to it.), so similar to a lover saying her final goodbye to her beloved on a battlefield, clutching at whatever is still left of it. Anything. The lovers heart even. Put it in a jar and never let go.

It is overflowing. More. More. More. It comes. Unstoppable. Yet so satirically calm.

He feels like an ocean. Vast and stretched out, somehow abused, and painfully dead.

Where is his redemption?

Where is Noah's ark?

Where is his dam?

---

The words are left unspoken.

The waters rise. In the distance, he spots a single speck untouched by the redness of the lake (now ocean), and for a moment, he allows himself an unseen hope that this may be a savior.

But god does not save those whom have sinned.

Instead of a boat, or some savior, there, in the very heart of the lake, a raven scratches at a barely remaining patch of dry land and flies away, leaving him all alone in the desolate, and breaking world around him.

He is emotionless.

He is self control.

He is perfection.

_  
We are opposites you and I._

And he is dying.

Of pain.

Of hatred.

Of ---.

The word dies on his lips. He is drowning.

A single ripple distorts the lakes reflective surface. He doesn't even know if it is his tears, or his phantoms.

But it is no matter. Because it too, sinks into red.

And his last ounce of control of emotion… his last piece of soul, the dam, and the only memory he treasures so dearly….

Shatters into a million pieces on the floor.

The blood gushes forwards like a Lion. Like a sword.

_  
My wound is on the inside yours is on the out._

And he can't quite recall that face full of sunshine and warmth. That smile that represented all things summer, and all things happy. Gone. Sunk into the depths of the ocean, never to be seen again.

_  
They are his own tears this time. _

That fall silently onto the waters.

_  
We are opposites. You and I._

But the tears come, too late. Too late.

_  
Perhaps we were once brothers in another life._

It is his blood that stains his once white hands.

The dam was already broken. And he broke it himself.

_  
Too late too late. The raven came too late._

And he sinks. Down into the unknown, forever submerged in the murky, iron red of the ocean.

Regret came too late.

_  
And he is dying of it._

Just before he falls completely into the rising waters, he sees, the vague outline of something else. Something so cruelly familiar. (_Of whiskers. Of summers._) He reaches a bloody hand out to the apparition, floating atop the surface of the red, unmarred by it, but to no avail. Because  
the phantoms of the past have no real body. They cannot touch.

_I miss you. _

he allows himself hope, and it bubbles beneath the surface of his solid façade, trembling, weakly, and shy like a child. His eyes carry the starlight, praying. Pleading. Asking.

_  
Do you? Do you? Do you?_

_  
Forgive?_

_  
Forget?_

_  
--- me?_

And it will happen. He knows it. It must. That brilliant sunshine. It will let him go on, and he will live happy, seek his own revenge, and forget the warmth once and for all. Unknowingly, his mask, falls just a fraction of an inch to reveal the dear child beneath.

So he waits. The waters stop. He stops. Sinking.

Hope.

He waits.

and waits.

and watches.

and sees.

as the ghost(his ghost) smiles cruelly like a gremlin, his sweet cherry red lips, twisting with venom, and glowing cherubim face, contorting repulsively as if mocking him. as if accusing him.

you. you. you. made me this.

crack.

And the memory comes unbidden.

Of blood. Of swords. Of whys. Of fading skies.

I hate you.

ah. ah. ah. Did i do this to you?

His heart breaks. Cracks and shatters. It is the last line. Slowly, and silently, he puts his hand down, defeated, and accepts his deathly fate. He sinks down.

_  
You are my everything. _

He looks up at the phantom, calm, cool, collected once more, and with the last ounce of his strength, he mouths:

"I---- you."

But the sentence dies on his lips. He has no right.

He sinks. Gone.

Dead.

Dying.

Dead.

And the word is left unspoken.

A tear ripples on the surface.

_  
I_

And the phantom is gone.

_  
Love _

The world is calm once more.

_  
You_

And they are all dead.

_  
Too._

But it is too late. Too late.

The words are left unheard.

* * *

Fire Country

Konoha Shinobi Village

Howard Samson

Head of MIAA

December 20th, 0901

Dear Umino Iruka,

We are sorry to inform you of your loss. Your charge, Uzumaki Naruto, died an honorable death defending his village while on mission near the sound approximately a week ago. We understand he went missing nearly a month ago today, and we cannot compensate enough for your son's early departure from this world, and even more so as you have not yet had your final goodbyes. However, we must let you know that Mr. Uzumaki's body cannot be transported due to certain circumstances. Although we will still send him off with a heroes funeral.

Konoha village is proud to have had Mr. Uzumaki in our services, and we cannot gauge the extent of your loss. Also…

* * *

Fire Country

Konoha Shinobi Village

Howard Samson

Head of MIAA

December 21st, 0901

Dear Umino Iruka,

Please let me apologize for my misuse of the word "son" to refer to you, and Mr. Uzumaki's relationship. I understand entirely that he is the son of the highly esteemed forth Hokage, and would like to redeem myself if at all possible.

As you have requested, we have included the autopsy reports of Mr. Uzumaki's body. I must warn you however, It is not for the faint of heart.

Secondly, you inquired as to where Mr. Uzumaki is to be buried.

He will be sent off in a boat, into the ocean. Strangely enough, his wounds healed over a little while after we found him, leaving no scars or markings, aside from the six he originally had on his cheeks.

However, he still cannot be transported. Unfortunately, soon after we retrieved the body of Mr. Uzumaki, we have been constantly attacked by sound ninja for unknown reasons. Thankfully, they've only infiltrated the base once. The roads and pathways back are no longer open. Unless you yourself are willing to take the risk and trek over the fire country borders to see Mr. Uzumaki one more time, I am afraid you will not be able to take his body.

The autopsy is as follows:

Name: john doe Uzumaki Naruto (as of December)

Found: December 17th, 0901

Age: Approximated at...

* * *

December 21st, 0901

Kakashi-sensei:

Naruto is gone.

Sasuke stabbed him.

Please... help me bring back his body.

Please.

-Iruka

* * *

Fire Country

Konoha Shinobi Village

Howard Samson

Head of MIAA

August 18, 0902

Dear Mr. Iruka,

We have found Uchiha Sasuke. As per your request.

Unfortunately, when we found him, he had already been dead for at least a month. We have also discovered from his notes and weaponry that he was the perpetrator behind the road blockage back in December, and was using it in order to gain Uzumaki Naruto's body for unconfirmed motives. We however, do have reason to believe that Mr. Uchiha was after Mr. Uzumaki's necklace; which is priceless, and possibly necessary in one of Orochimaru's schemes. Thus, it has been concluded that Mr. Uchiha, under Orochimaru's rule, was attempting to acquire the artifact, and not Mr. Uzumaki's body.

We will deal with his body as you deem fit.

Mr. Uzumaki's body on the other hand has stayed strangely resilient to the passing of time. It has not yet decomposed. Please, do come and collect the body. By all means. My workers are becoming frightened, and are beginning to believe that Mr. Uzumaki has struck a deal with Orochimaru himself.

Please hurry.

On an unrelated note, we did have a brief run in with a sound ninja while collecting Mr. Uchiha's body…

* * *

January 5th, 0902

Kabuto:

Sasuke has disappeared.

Find him. Now.

I need his eyes.

Orochimaru

* * *

August 17th, 0902

Orochimaru-sama:

I apologize for my inadequacy. Sasuke-kun was dead when I found him, and I deemed him, unusable. I was unable to bring back his body for your inspection due to unforseen circumstances.

Please, accept mine temporarily as compensation.

-Kabuto

P.S. Naruto-kun's body was also unretrieveble. I'm afraid the nine-tails will have to wait till you are healthy once again.

* * *

August 28th, 0902

Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei:

I went ahead to go see Sasuke's body since you two decided to find Naruto. It was the strangest thing. The body wasn't falling apart at all! Strangest of all, he had no wounds, and no identifiable external causes of death. I'm just. Speechless.

I cried when if first saw him… he looked so different from when he was awake. He looked calm. But I can't say at peace.

Moreso, I found a whole lot of papers… I think Sasuke went crazy in his final days. Schizophrenic maybe, from staying with Oorochimaru for so long, and going through all those snake experiments. Damn that traitorous bastard.

But I'll look into it.

Oh.

One more thing.

His heart was bleeding.

-Sakura

* * *

January 5th, 0902

Tsunade-sama:

I'm sorry. I knew what was going on and I couldn't stop it. Naruto came to me first, begging me to help. And I knew I had to. It was my fault, and mine alone. He told me that he needed to find Sasuke-kun, and that they would talk it over, and he would stop Sasuke-kun from destroying the village. I just, didn't think that this would happen. At least, I believed that Sasuke-kun still cared enough about his teammates. About his bonds.

I should've gone with him.

-SAI

* * *

August 30th, 0902

Fire Country

Konoha Shinobi Village

Howard Samson

Head of MIAA

Mr. Iruka,

We have begun transportation of Mr. Uchiha's body to Mr. Uzumaki's location. He will be there in two days. Please be there to pick them up when the time comes. Also, this will be our last correspondence from now on, as I can no longer make the time to help you out, therefore---

* * *

Case ID: 113924601

Description: Papers found in Uchiha Sasuke's possessions after his death

November 31st, 0901

You Bastard. You should've listened. It's all your fault. Come back. Please. I'm begging you. We are opposites. You and I. But still, we're teammates. Comrades. Brothers.

And if that's not enough, Just listen.

I ----

_Note from H.S.: the rest of the letter is burnt off. Unknown content._

* * *

Case ID: 113924602

Description: papers found in Uchiha Sasuke's possessions after his death

November 20th, 0901

Please Sasuke! Just listen to me! If not for me, then at least for Sakura. She still cares for you! Your home is in Konoha. With us.

Didn't you say that you thought that I was your brother?

What if that's true?

Perhaps we were true brothers in another life.

Just, Try. Please.

Revenge won't help.

Come back to us.

I miss you.

And no. I won't shut up. Not until you agree with me.

* * *

Case ID: 113924603

Description: Papers found in Uchiha Sasuke's possessions after his death

December 17th, 0901

Damnit Sasuke! You ASS! LISTEN TO ME!

I can't stand you. I hate you.

I'm coming down there to beat sense into you myself.

And I don't care if you don't feel the same way as I do.

I---

_Note from H.S.: the rest is burnt off. Content unknown._

* * *

Case ID: 113924604

Description: Papers found in Uchiha Sasuke's possessions after his death

FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET FORGET

_Note from HS: different handwriting from previous cases, repeated for another 120 pages. This particular page was stuck between a bible._

* * *

Case ID: 113924605

Description: Papers found in Uchiha Sasuke's possessions after his death

I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET. I DO NOT REGRET.

_Note from HS: carries on for another 300 pages. Writing and ink color variates. Perhaps written over different times? Also has on on it, blood from varying people. Some blood matches with that of Uchiha Sasuke's swords._

* * *

August 30th, 0902

Iruka-sensei:

Here. I think you should put this with naruto. I found it in Sasuke's pocket when MIAA shipped his body over, and thankfully, they didn't find it when they were looking for evidence.

-Kakashi

* * *

September 1st, 0902

Kakashi:

Please! Hurry! Come help! I don't understand what happened…

When I got the letter you sent me, and Sasuke-kun, I put his body with Naruto's but…

They turned to dust when I did!

-Iruka

* * *

August 30th, 0902

Tsunade-sama:

I went over to Sasuke's hut, and found something that the MIAA might have missed. His bed? The flab of stone? It turns out, you can pull it off as long as you posess the eye. There's a small stairway underneath, taking you into a storeroom of jutsu. And they are all, solely for Sharingan users.

There's something that might explain the lack of decomposition on both of the bodies.

He cast a jutsu on Naruto the day he attacked the MIAA.

That's why Naruto healed.

That's why they didn't decompose.

I must leave now to tell Iruka-sensei about the jutsu… otherwise… when he puts the bodies together…

-Kakashi

* * *

July 12th, 0902

The summer reminds me invariably of smiles, licorice, sunflowers, oranges, sunshine, cat whiskers… and… and…

Just…

Him.

I give up. The waters have won this battle. I cannot deny this any longer.

I regret.

Because I killed him.

And now, he is killing me.

I am not forgiven. I saw it on his face. I wanted to touch him one last time. but...

Today, I die.

I will cast the jutsu on myself. I know now why I did it. I understand. He is the trigger for us both.

And he will hate me for it.

ha ha ha.

Seems like you win the final spar.

Naruto.

* * *

December 19th, 0901

So they found his body in my hut. I had to destroy the evidence, and I didn't want his body to start rotting, so that when I got it back, it wouldn't start stinking up my cottage.

So I just broke into their base, and cast a jutsu on the blond to keep him from completely dying.

It was reckless. Yes.

But it settled the unease my stomach. At least Oorochimaru might be able to bring him back to life... for the ninetails of course.

* * *

December 20th, 0901

They've reinforced their base.

It'll take me at least four days to get back in.

Damnit!

* * *

January 1st, 0902

I have left Orochimaru. He was holding me behind. And I can feel it, in the pit of my stomach. And it bothers me when I kill.

The blond is dead. And the Nine-tails was wrong.

I feel no regret.

I have even burned his notes. All of the ones that say " i—"

But that doesn't matter.

Revenge is the only thing for me to consider.

* * *

January 10th,0902

I am seeing apparitions.

Must be some kind of jutsu from the sound ninja looking for me.

It must be.

* * *

Febuary 20th, 0902

Sound ninja are gone.

So why do I still see the apparitions!?

* * *

March 2nd, 0902

I am seeing blondes.

Killing people seems to temporarily fix that.

Just two today.

* * *

March 22nd, 0902

Fifty. Forty –seven yesterday. Forty-one the day before.

I am unrested. I Cannot sleep.

There is something… some pain in my chest.

But it will go away with more killings.

* * *

April, 1st, 0902

He won't go away.

One hundred today.

--

April 13th, 0902

Still, there.

One twenty.

--

April 14th, 0902

No. . I don't regret. I will forget.

Eighty.

--

April 20th, 0902

It's not helping.

I don't regret. I don't regret.

Forget. It will be winter soon.

Fifty.

--

May 17th, 0902

Fifty.

May 30th, 0902

Forty –four.

Why won't it leave me be?

I bought a bible.

Cain and Abel.

* * *

June 10th, 0902

I do not regret. I regret nothing. I do not regret. I regret nothing.

I have killed twenty more.

No pain inside now.

Apparitions are gone.

Good.

I will have my revenge.

Konoha will be destroyed.

* * *

June 15th, 0902

It is back.

No. god no.

I remember sparring.

Nar—

No.

Hahaha. I could choke.

Why?

* * *

June 16th, 0902

Revenge. will. be. mine.

i will not be deterred.

But why do i carry his letters still?

* * *

June 20th, 0902

I can no longer stomach killing.

Why is this?

Candy. And blue skies. Smi--

No.

I am perfect. I am emotionless.

No tears. It is just the rain.

* * *

June 24th. 0902

Naruto.

* * *

June 28th 0902.

What now?

His blood. His face. His smile.

I am afraid.

* * *

June 30th,0902

It is still summer.

Ice cream. Spars.

Why did I do it?

* * *

July 1st, 0902

He speaks.

i can feel something shifting beneath me.

no. no. no.

i only wanted his body to help Oorochimaru.

the reason still stays.

no more. no less.

July 2nd, 0902

I am no longer with Oorochimaru. I haven't been for a year.

so why? why? why?

I have no need for the nine tails....

I....

* * *

July 3rd, 0902

I----.

July 4th, 0902

I----

July 5th 0902

I-----

July 6th, 0902

I---

July 7th, 0902

I---

July 8th, 0902

I---

July 9th, 0902

I----

July 10th,

I-----

* * *

To: kakashi

Did you read it? The diary that Iruka-sensei had?

I had no idea. I guess it wasn't schizophrenia.

They were… they were…

No. Nevermind. Forget I ever mentioned it.

-Sakura

----

To: kakashi

I burnt it. I felt dirty. No. I felt like I was making it dirty, just from reading it.

It is gone and erased from my memory as well.

Iruka

--------

Tsunade-sama: as you requested, I burnt down the scroll shed under Sasuke-kun's bed.

I hope you don't regret this.

And I have not yet redeemed myself for my mistake.

-SAI

---

TO: Iruka

Where did you decide to pour their ashes? Somewhere close to home?

-kakashi

-----

To: Kakashi

Ah, yes. Very close, and very sentimental. I let them go free…

they must be happy now.

Well…

I let them free at the waterfall.

-Iruka

* * *

July 11th, 0902

Smiles. Children. Parks. Summer. Candy. Spars. Smiles.

I confess Naruto.

I love you.

* * *

The word is left unspoken.

* * *

Spur of the moment.

couple of quick notes:

story of cain and abel, and the raven, and it's significance in the story (symbolism or what not) might be something you want to check.

the "put your Lovers heart in a jar" refers to Maria Eleonora, one of the queen consorts of Sweden, whom reportedly, loved her husband so much that she cut ordered soldiers to cut his heart out and put it in a gold box. (He died during a war). Point is, she fell in love with her husband, despite it being an entirely political marraige.

waterfall: his pent up emotions. Thoughts. He let them go with naruto (the dam), but now he just denies their existence. He broke. Went loco.

I hope this wasn't too confusing.

trust me. It confused me to write it. But i had fun.

do enjoy :) CC is welcome.


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